Many of my friends and family have wondered how I am doing given that I am alone aboard Guiding Light, a Lagoon 410, during this month plus long quarantine we have all experienced due to the Covid-19 pandemic. They are worried I may be lonely, getting a restless, and losing my mind. The truth is that I have not had time given all that has happened aboard.
It all started when I had to repel the pirate attack from Jack Sparrow (should there be a captain with that title?) and the crew of the Black Pearl. They sailed in during the second week of the quarantine and all I had to defend myself with was the plastic cutlasses from my pirate costumes collection. But a captain must defend his ship and so up top I went with a cutlass in one hand, a pistol in the other hand, and a dagger in my teeth. They put up a valiant fight, but I came out victorious. To my admiration my fellow captains around me came over to check on my health after seeing me running around the deck with plastic swords. Wasn’t that nice of them? 😉
Days after recovering from the pirates I had to help put down the Suliban uprising (extra geek points if you guess where that race comes from). They sailed in like the Sea People of the ancient world and set ashore at Pigeon Point, St Lucia where I happen to have the boat anchored next to. They dug in at the old British fortifications when the local police arrived and I had to swim around the point and come ashore behind them one night. It took all my training watching Chuck Norris movies, but I was able to capture the leader and force the surrender of all Suliban followers.
Given all I have done to secure the Guiding Light and help protect the island you would think I would be appreciated, but NNNOOOOOO. My ungrateful crew decided to stage a mutiny after I got back from the uprising. They tried to slap me into irons as soon as I re boarded the boat. I tried to reason with them, since we have been friends from birth, but they were like rabid dogs. In the end I had to fight tooth and nail to reclaim my captaincy and I made each of those scurvy laced, scally wags walk the plank.
With all the events of the last month who has time to lonely and let ones mind go to waste? By the way, can you ask them to loosen the sleeves on this tight white jacket? Thanks (laughing like a mad man). 🙂